It’s entirely understandable that you might find it difficult to have financial conversations with elderly relatives.

The subject itself can feel awkward and intrusive. You may even worry that raising it will make them think you’re only concerned about an inheritance.

In reality, these conversations shouldn’t be about your own interests, but rather:

• Protecting your loved ones
• Ensuring their wishes are respected
• Giving them confidence, knowing their affairs are in order.

Having these conversations early could even prevent unnecessary financial complications and provide clarity about living arrangements later in life.

However, due to the sensitive nature of these discussions, approaching them can be easier said than done unless you understand just how important they are.

With this in mind, here are some of the key reasons why it’s so vital to have financial conversations with elderly loved ones.

They can protect their wishes with a will and a Lasting Power of Attorney

A practical first step is ensuring your older relatives have an up-to-date will.

Their will outlines who will receive their estate following their passing and keeping it current can help ensure their wishes are met and their estate is managed effectively.

Without one, strict rules tend to apply that might mean your relative’s wishes aren’t followed – a situation called “dying intestate”.

For instance, in England and Wales, a surviving spouse or civil partner doesn’t automatically inherit the entire estate, with some of it split between children depending on the value. Meanwhile, an unmarried partner has no rights at all.

Even if your loved one has already written a will, they shouldn’t treat it as a static document. Their circumstances might change regularly, so a will should ideally be reviewed and updated at least every five years to ensure it still reflects their wishes.

Doing so can reduce the risks of disputes among family members and ensure a seamless transfer of wealth.

As well as a will, it’s worth considering a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA).

This legal arrangement allows someone trustworthy – known as their “attorney” – to make decisions on behalf of your relative – known as the “donor” – if they lose mental capacity.

There are typically two main types of LPA available:

• Health and welfare – This gives your relative’s attorney the power to make decisions regarding their daily routine, medical care, whether they move into a care home, and any life-sustaining treatments they may need.
• Property and financial affairs – This allows a relative’s attorney to make decisions about managing their bank and building society accounts, paying bills, collecting benefits such as their pension, or even selling their home.

Your relative will need full mental capacity to put an LPA in place, so it’s important to act now before it’s too late.

However, once registered, it can take effect when needed and be temporary or permanent. Generally, a health and welfare LPA only comes into effect when the donor loses capacity. Meanwhile, a property and financial affairs LPA can be used immediately, unless the donor specifies that this is not the case.

You could help them plan for living arrangements and potential future care

While speaking about living arrangements and long-term care can feel highly personal, avoiding the subject could create more stress later down the line.

For some, this might mean inviting your elderly relative to live at home with you. This could allow you to provide them with companionship and reduce care costs.

However, you may find that the added responsibilities bring significant lifestyle changes you’re not fully prepared for.

Instead, professional care might be more suitable, but it’s essential to plan for how you will fund this.

As of 2025/26, the system in England requires people with assets above £23,250 (known as the “upper capital limit”) to fund their own care.

If your elderly relative has less than £14,250 (the “lower capital limit”), they’ll only contribute what they can afford from their income, and their savings and capital are ignored entirely. The rest of their care is then funded by the state.

However, if their assets fall between these limits, they’d typically pay what they can afford from their income, plus a means-tested portion of their assets.

As you can see, these rules are complex, so understanding them in advance could allow your relative to set aside sufficient wealth or plan for other arrangements if necessary.

Importantly, discussing living arrangements early gives everyone clarity and can prevent rushed and emotional decisions at an already difficult time.

Trusts could allow you to manage family wealth in a tax-efficient way

If your elderly relative wants to provide for younger generations, they may decide to make use of a trust.

This is essentially a legal arrangement that allows them to decide how and when their beneficiaries receive an inheritance.

For example, that might mean releasing wealth when a grandchild completes higher education or wants to purchase their first home.

Trusts could be particularly beneficial if your family circumstances are complex or there are concerns about financial responsibility.

They could also give your relative the ability to retain some level of control over how their wealth is distributed after they pass away.

However, if you don’t communicate these plans in depth, they could simply cause confusion or even tension in the future.

An open discussion with your relatives could ensure that everyone understands the reasoning behind any decisions. It also gives executors and trustees the chance to prepare for any responsibilities they may take on.

A planner could help you approach financial conversations with confidence

As you can see, financial conversations with elderly relatives are essential, but this doesn’t make them any easier.

Emotions, family relationships, and complex rules surrounding inheritances can make them challenging to deal with on your own.

This is where a financial planner could help.

A planner could sit down with you and take into account the needs of both the family and your elderly relative.

They can then help your relatives write an up-to-date will, register an LPA, and explore options for funding care.

More importantly, they can act as a neutral party in a difficult conversation, helping to balance perspectives and find solutions that work for everyone.

If you’d like to find out how we can help you tackle these challenging conversations, please email us at info@blueskyifas.co.uk or call us on 01189 876655.

Please note

This article is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at retail clients only.

All information is correct at the time of writing and is subject to change in the future.

Please do not act based on anything you might read in this article. All contents are based on our understanding of HMRC legislation, which is subject to change.

The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate estate planning, tax planning, Lasting Powers of Attorney, or will writing.